


Loyalty Rewards Program

by calico_fiction



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Comment Fic, Family, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Roy's Sisters - Freeform, platonic intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 03:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19455646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calico_fiction/pseuds/calico_fiction
Summary: Roy and Ed are both frequent customers at Madam Christmas's establishment, unbeknownst to each other.





	Loyalty Rewards Program

**Author's Note:**

> this is a comment fic which i have cleaned up slightly

Edward already knows Madame Christmas and Roy’s sisters, but doesn’t know the relation, before he and Roy ever start dating. During his military career, Ed spurns discretion and wiliness based on his forthright sense of morality, but he does display a natural talent at it when it’s absolutely necessary, and his understanding of politic sneaking grows as he does. Not to mention of course, Ed’s own personal politics include feminism and socialism, so once it crosses his mind supporting working girls would probably be a priority of his anyway. During the Promised Day and surrounding events, Ed visits Chris’s establishment regularly for information the same way Roy does, and quickly makes friends with Chris and the girls.

Chris, obviously, knows exactly who Ed is and his connection to Roy, but stays quiet about it because she likes to be In The Know, and because it’s funny to watch the two of them slowly fall out of admiration and into love without either of them having any idea. Men are so dumb, it’s a riot. Some of the girls figure it out too, but not all of them. Chris lets them all get there in their own time. It’s like a combination test and graduation. Until you know that Ed is Pipsqueak and Brass Bastard (they can’t call each other by specific rank or name for espionage’s sake) is Roy, you’re not ready to handle the whole of the job. After the Promised Day, Ed keeps coming back just to hang out, complain about Roy and about Al’s cats (both in the exact same tone, _mysteriously_ ), and leave gigantor tips. The girls eventually get as comfortable with him as they are with Roy; depending on their personal temperaments some of them play with his hair, some sit in his lap, some get foot rubs from him, most give him kisses on the cheek when he comes and goes, and some of them even get help from him with getting into costumes with back closures or with doing their hair or makeup. He takes all of this completely in stride. It’s nothing he hasn’t done with/for Winry a million times.

(Roy doesn’t know Ed is going to Chris’s establishment so often by a combination of pure dumb coincidence and because Chris has nifty ways of ensuring anonymity for her clients and Roy’s informants and even Roy himself can never snoop on the place, unless snooping is specifically desired. Roy still tries of course. It’s like a game for them. A game that Roy unfailingly, and sometimes spectacularly, loses.)

And then when Ed and Roy start dating, both of them insist to the women in their lives that it’s not serious, and of course all the women (and Al) know better. Every time Roy talks about Ed or Ed talks about Roy, Chris smiles like a cat and they worry what that’s about but know better than to try asking (and, in part, they decide that in this case ignorance is probably bliss). But after a while, they have to give up the ghost and admit that they’re in this 'til death do them part, et cetera. Roy has already met all of Ed’s family, and though Al does deliver a shovel talk that is absolutely blood-chilling for all that it’s, like, twelve words long, establishing their new dynamic with that side is pretty uneventful. So, time to see to the other side.

The thing is, Ed’s not really nervous at all. He knows that Roy is sticking with him regardless, and if he doesn’t get along with Roy’s family they can still work. And anyway, Roy’s family raised Roy and Roy has never disparaged on them or the job they did, so Ed’s pretty sure it won’t be an issue. No biggie. Roy, though. Roy is nervous. There’s no reason to be, but he really wants Ed to like his family because if Ed doesn’t like his family for asshole reasons (an irrational fear for sure, but he has _anxiety_ ) then they have to break up and that would be terrible and tragic and he would be sad for the rest of his life forever and ever. He laments about his situation to Chris and Chris’s response amounts to “You’re so stupid, I love you” while Roy’s sisters laugh at him in the background. But finally Roy bites the bullet, stops stalling, and brings Ed in to meet Madame Christmas and his sisters.

When they get there they are both - obviously - very, very confused. Ed doesn’t know why in the world they are coming to a bar-and-brothel to meet Roy’s family. Granted, he’s not a great judge of these things, but that seems kind of weird and inappropriate. And Roy is confused, and somewhat alarmed, that Ed seems to know his way around and greets the girls by name. They all give Ed their customary hugs or cheek kisses, lead him over to his favorite chair up close to the fire, bring him his usual food and drink, the whole familiar Thing, and then gleefully watch Roy try to figure out what’s going on. He doesn’t figure it out, not on his own. He could not handle their jobs. (He does get a _little_ leeway since he’s in love though. They all know how that can cloud your judgement.)

“Uh,” says Ed, a little awkwardly. “I come here a lot.”

“ _Why_?” Roy asks, strangled. His voice sounds like maybe there is something alive inside his throat that is expressing great displeasure at being there. Ed shrugs.

“They had a lot of good info on your shithead bosses,” he explains. “And they’re really funny and smart and the beer is good. I think the more pressing question here is why did we come here to meet your family?” The girls giggle. Ed couldn’t do their jobs either.

“This _is_ my family, Edward,” Roy says, still strangled.

After a very long pause where they both digest the situation Ed says, “Yeah, that explains a lot.” Roy narrows his eyes, not sure if Ed is trying to jokingly insult him (and thereby insulting his sisters, which would be significantly less funny), but then Ed turns to the closest sister and starts telling her about how Roy’s self-satisfied smirk is exactly the same as Chris’s and he should have realized, and then continues from there hitting on some mannerism or preference that Roy has in common with each sister. Roy’s heart melts into liquid and very nearly starts leaking out of his eyes as he listens.

Chris comes up behind him. “Do you have a ring on you or do you need mine?” she asks smugly.

(He uses hers.)


End file.
